Thursday, October 28, 2010

Art on Men's Studies: Images and Essay by Alejandro Betancourt



A Close Watch On This Heart Of Mine: Cool Heart
By Alejandro Betancourt

I relied on rock music from a very early age to define abstract things like love and desire. Music taught me the language that put into words how I feel. It is private, but makes me a part of something public at the same time.

Like a best friend growing up, music always provided the link that connected the abstract thing like frustration to the real problem, like wanting to get out of the boring classroom. I believed I had something in common with all the people who connected with a song. It was great to consider that I could relate to something sung by a very cool and sexy rock star. Music always kept me company. Lyrics are the words from friends, the way they are sung so loudly or tenderly are a friend’s energy.

I relate to the aggressive sound and restless energy of Rock. I like the electricity, the volume, the passion. I listened to lyrics when I was a boy, and I made distinctions and formed opinions about songs that had a message, and songs that were just for fun. I found the themes: sex, desire, love, rebellion, doing all I can do, wasting time, partying…


In 2008 I developed the series of drawings, “A Close Watch on This Heart of Mine,” to confront how American men explain their feelings without compromising their masculinity. I used lyrics from rock music and my own short poems handwritten over rough self-portraits. The images and words on these drawings are enjoyable and not sentimental. This way, I allow myself to be emotional without embarrassing myself.

“I keep a close watch on this heart of mine” are the opening lyrics to Walk the Line by John Cash. I grabbed on to the tough warning he sings about – a warning to not mess with the feelings of a man known for his rebellious and dark image; who sings of murder and vengeance, with such a dominant place in the history of American music. I chose parts of lyrics from songs like his and others with themes of ambition, lust, hope, pride. The poetry I connect to not only identifies feelings, but goes on to say what to do about them.


The words incorporated in the drawings from this series threw light on fragments of my own American story. They hit themes of ambition, lust, independence, obsession and more. When I produced them, it was a restless and sometimes reckless time in my life. Rock music allowed a greater confidence in me to introduce my own poetry, and use this language that differs from textbooks and professional talk.




Like a journalist researching the truth and promoting accountability, I revealed things about myself and disclosed them in public. Taking an inventory of my thoughts, actions and emotions helped me figure out solutions during this tough time in my life when I produced this work. Putting everything into words using the language of lyrics - not mushy or dramatic, but American, urban and cool - helped me keep my own peace, my own order.

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