Mr. Runner Up - Series on Male Body Image.1.

"Mr. Runner Up" is a series of images and short essays about male body image and male pageantry.

Image and Words By Alejandro Betancourt

I used to tuck in my white uniform shirt into my fat husky gray chords and pull my belt tight at the waist, then pull my shirt out just right so it made me look boxy. I was a fat kid, but smart enough to try a stocky look.

Like an illusionist, the fat spare around my mid-section would disappear, but the tight belt was painful and left scarring. The pain was worth it as a 10-year-old boy who only began to learn the rules of the image game.

I began to gag myself after dinner and throw up in the toilet to lose weight. My mother worked as a maid and I worried that she would catch me, so I tried to keep it quiet and clean.

But one of my mother’s clients was bulimic, and she knew about places to clean that I did not. The splatter under the rim gave me away and I was busted.

Throughout my youth, I occasionally threw up when I felt fat until I discovered the gym and began to work out on my own. Sports were not always an option, but that was ok. I thought the sport of looking good had better rewards.