Thursday, October 28, 2010

Art on Men's Studies: Images and Essay by Alejandro Betancourt



A Close Watch On This Heart Of Mine: Cool Heart
By Alejandro Betancourt

I relied on rock music from a very early age to define abstract things like love and desire. Music taught me the language that put into words how I feel. It is private, but makes me a part of something public at the same time.

Like a best friend growing up, music always provided the link that connected the abstract thing like frustration to the real problem, like wanting to get out of the boring classroom. I believed I had something in common with all the people who connected with a song. It was great to consider that I could relate to something sung by a very cool and sexy rock star. Music always kept me company. Lyrics are the words from friends, the way they are sung so loudly or tenderly are a friend’s energy.

I relate to the aggressive sound and restless energy of Rock. I like the electricity, the volume, the passion. I listened to lyrics when I was a boy, and I made distinctions and formed opinions about songs that had a message, and songs that were just for fun. I found the themes: sex, desire, love, rebellion, doing all I can do, wasting time, partying…


In 2008 I developed the series of drawings, “A Close Watch on This Heart of Mine,” to confront how American men explain their feelings without compromising their masculinity. I used lyrics from rock music and my own short poems handwritten over rough self-portraits. The images and words on these drawings are enjoyable and not sentimental. This way, I allow myself to be emotional without embarrassing myself.

“I keep a close watch on this heart of mine” are the opening lyrics to Walk the Line by John Cash. I grabbed on to the tough warning he sings about – a warning to not mess with the feelings of a man known for his rebellious and dark image; who sings of murder and vengeance, with such a dominant place in the history of American music. I chose parts of lyrics from songs like his and others with themes of ambition, lust, hope, pride. The poetry I connect to not only identifies feelings, but goes on to say what to do about them.


The words incorporated in the drawings from this series threw light on fragments of my own American story. They hit themes of ambition, lust, independence, obsession and more. When I produced them, it was a restless and sometimes reckless time in my life. Rock music allowed a greater confidence in me to introduce my own poetry, and use this language that differs from textbooks and professional talk.




Like a journalist researching the truth and promoting accountability, I revealed things about myself and disclosed them in public. Taking an inventory of my thoughts, actions and emotions helped me figure out solutions during this tough time in my life when I produced this work. Putting everything into words using the language of lyrics - not mushy or dramatic, but American, urban and cool - helped me keep my own peace, my own order.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Art: Is LA Graf going Weak and City Maintenance Winning?


OBEY's mural didn't last too long on Melrose in 2010. Sooner than later, some punk wrote over it, and all too soon, anyone else participated in burying it. But OBEY played the street game his whole life, and the wall on Melrose near Fairfax is unlikely to end up painted over by the city of LA in one of its ugly shades of graffiti maintenance paint. That wall is prime tagger wall, and will continue to transform and do what a graf wall does. It will tell a story and continue to have a life of its own.

But murals like the ones on our LA freeways are getting tagged by graffiti writers. And those aren't territorial graffiti walls. Those walls aren't the kind that will continue to change as graf appears over in layers of identilty and public stunts. Those are respected by real artists and by the city. But they are too expensive to maintain by the city now, so they get painted gray.


Pasadena Child Development Associate's building on Lake Ave.
PCDA is a non-profit organization for children.

In 2010, I came very close to working on a mural for this building (left photo) in Pasadena. The Board of Directors finally decided against it because they were too afraid that a mural would invite graffiti. Why would a mural invite graffiti? Murals become little neighborhood landmarks. They brand neighborhoods and communities are proud to have them.I wanted to argue that murals beautify neighborhoods and activate public spaces.
Graffiti is different. Graf writers use an element of danger to earn street cred. Their art is part artistic talent and part stunt. The bigger and balsier it takes to throw up a tag, the more credability you get. Try tagging the Police Station and see how famous you get as a tagger.

But tagging over murals sounds like something that has become popular in LA. In October 14ths LA Weekly, in a column in the beginning of the issue called Muralgeddon, writer Mark Cromer says that "according to Pat Gomez, who's with L.A.'s Department of Cultural Affairs, a recent survey of 400 murals that were either funded by the city or located on city property revealed that 90 are completely gone and another 197 have been marred by graffiti."

Mural on La Wacko/La Luz De Jesus - Private business (top) in
Hollywood. Mural on Hollywood High - Public school (right) in
Hollywood.


















Even if you dislike a city mural, you should have a little pride in it. You should at least have a little respect for it. If neither, you should be smart enough to know what will happen to your tag and that mural - it's going to get painted over by city maintenance. You won't win, the artists won't win, and we'll all be stuck looking at an ugly blue-gray square.

The thought of being able to comoflauge against a mural while throwing up a tag is so chicken. Being able to return to that piece and add on to it because its easier to tag there is so weak. There is no risk, no stunt. And the worst part is you're destroying something another artist created.

To get a good idea of what this cover-up paint looks like, visit LACE (Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions) on Hollywood Blvd, near Cahuenga. There is a current exhibit called Painted Over/Under by Kim Schoenstadt that adds this aspect of graffiti maintenance paint for a different idea. But I think its a perfect example of what LA walls will look like because of weaker taggers.

Wall on Fairfax Ave (top) between
Melrose and Beverly changes regularly
with hot throw ups. Wall at Union Station
(right) not accessable to any future "vandals."














People of LA who care about graf as much as murals want both in their city. But these art forms are different, and it will be very funny when a group of artists who have struggled all their lives for credability begin to paint over graffiti. People who get to paint murals made an entirely different effort to earn that. Just like a tagger who claims a wall will get respect from other taggers, because he earned it. He or she earned it because tagging still requires a stunt - you break the law, you don't break artists' hearts.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Around LA: AIDS Walk LA 2010 is Teen-Driven with Infinite Future

The white NOH8 balloon in the back of this photo floats over dozens of surrounding teens; just a small section of groups of younger kids who drove and energized the 26th annual AIDS Walk in LA last Sunday, October 17.

Over 30,000 people participated and $2.8 Million was raised. But the real accomplishment and encouragement was the participation of so many teens and young adults. The AIDS Walk in LA is effortlessly a powerful demonstration of unity that will last well throughout future generations.


Making the top 25 of groups representing teens, Crossroads Teen AIDS Ambassadors raised $7,397. Following closely behind were CBS Families & Friends and Milken School/Kids Who Care. It was a remarkably super family-attended event. More like walking through Disneyland than a gay pride march, AIDS Walk LA was unlike anything I have ever seen in support of any cause.



Hollywood High marches down
Santa Monica Blvd (left) at 10am.
The 6 mile track cut to Melrose Ave,
turned on La Brea Ave, then up
Beverly Blvd and back to West Hollywood Park.

Almost all of the volunteers were teens of all races and cultures who made noise along the route and handed out water and oranges. The enthusiasm of the young people working and participating stole the show.

Young Latino and Asian groups were everywhere; walking behind school banners, wearing school sweatshirts, and representing youth groups. Young punks, fashion freaks, jocks, nerdier kids, gays and straights stepped on that wet morning, coloring the overcast day.


The AIDS Walk LA looked as if all the homes, businesses, schools and visitors in the area got up and took over the streets. There was no demographic element that made anyone over or under represented. It was a real example of unity power - in a peaceful and orderly way, except for the holloring.

The money will benefit AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) and other AIDS service organizations throughout Los Angeles County. There is more info on that at http://www.aidswalk.net/losangeles/eventinfo/faq.html, the AIDS Walk LA website. Millions of dollars is an abstract idea to most of that even makes us laugh. But thousands of people all around you for miles, taking over public streets is overwhelmingly real.

The fact that so many of those people who participated on Sunday were teens, makes the future of AIDS Walk LA just as real.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Neltrexone: La Pastilla Para Dejar el Alcohol y Drogas

Casi han sido diez años desde que el parche y los chicles para dejar la nicotina llegaron a el mercado popular. Ahora hay ayuda para personas que quieren dejar el alcohol: Naltrexone. Este blog es una introducción al estudio de Naltrexone en mi mismo.

La tableta de 50mg se toma oralmente una vez al día. El tratamiento es administrado popularmente durante 90 días. Acabo de completar los primeros 30 días y yo testifico que Naltrexone me ayuda mentalmente y físicamente dejar el alcohol.

Siento pocos efectos secundarios. En la primera semana, yo estuve muy conciente de tomar la píldora, y busqué reacciones físicas. Durante esa semana yo me sentí un poco mareado y con menos energía, pero con un café eso se quito fácilmente. Aproximadamente una semana más tarde, mi cuerpo se ajustó y la cafeína no fue necesaria. Hoy, todavía puedo faltar energía unas vezes; pero nunca siento náusea, los dolores de cabeza, ni nada. Funciono bien: gran apetito, atencion en el trabajo, energía para el gimnasio, actitud buena con personas.

La prescripción cuesta aproximadamente $50 para un mes. Recogo la mia en el Walmart local - es accesible y sano. Como cualquiera otra medicina, viene con una etiqueta que proporciona una descripción completa. Si tengo cualquier pregunta, mi doctor ayudará. El ya me vio para nuestra primera revisión después de un mes y tendremos una revisión final hacia el fin de tres meses.

Naltrexone es un puro antagonista contra el receptor de opio. Bloquea los efectos de la administraron de opiods por las venas. La explicacion que viene con la prescripción, fabricado por LABORATORIOS de BARR, S.A. en Pomona, NY para PRODUCTOS FARMACEUTICOS de TEVA EEUU en Sellersville, PA dice que "el mecanismo de acción de naltrexone contra el alcoholismo no es comprendido". Sin embargo, también indica que en pruebas clínicas ha mostrado que reduce el consumo de alcohol.

Yo no soy un estudio clínico. Oí de esta píldora y otras por un amigo familiar. Escogí tratarlo porque fui curioso acerca de ello la misma manera que halguen que fuma puede ser curioso acerca del parche o chicle de nicotina para dejar la dependencia física. Mi doctor en Los Angeles, CA, describió brevemente la píldora y el tratamiento. Su nombre es Dr. Hector Castillo, y su oficina está en Huntington Park. Mencionó que si bebo mucho mientras en esta medicina, yo sufriría una cruda terrible.

Yo no bebí para la primera pareja de semanas. Pero cuando por fin bebi, comprendí automáticamente lo que neltrexone hace. Bloquea los efectos de alcohol. Yo no puedo sentir ninguna reaccion agradable en la cabeza. Puedo probar el sabor de alcohol y sentir su fuerza, en el sentido que puedo sentir el "calor" de un disparo de whisky o tequila. Pero yo no puedo sentir que se me sube a la cabeza. En vez de eso, yo siento una presión, como una presión de seno cuando sufro de un cataro o flu de cabeza. Se siente realmente como que algo bloquea el alcohol de mi cerebro.

Físicamente, esto me ayuda porque no se siente hagusto la bebida - y eso es la atraccion mas fuerte fisicamente de alcohol. Mentalmente, me da más tiempo de reacciónar y considerar que deberas no quiero ya beber. Y por eso hoy yo no lo estrano. Yo no quiero perder el tiempo con alcohol para ayudarme me ni a relajar ni a disfrutar de más, porque sé que mi cuerpo no reaccionará sintiéndose físicamente relajado ni en seguida mejor. Conseguiré un dolor de cabeza en su lugar. Yo no dependo de ello para alterar ni mi mente o cuerpo.

Yo no pienso que alcohol es malo. Estoy contento probar algo especial. Pero bebida alcohólica ordinaria despues del trabajo por costumbre, en la cena, o para celebrar no se me hace especial a mí ya. Ha cido tiempo que pensé dejar alcohol para ser sociable, o para recompensa propia como un dulce. Neltrexone ayudará si usted esta serio de dejar de tomar alcohol. Cuanto más largo que uso la pastilla, más utilizo mi tiempo y el dinero para otras cosas mas especiales, y pago menos atención a la bebida ordinaria.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Naltrexone - The Alcohol and Drug Pill

It has almost been ten years since nicotine patches and gums hit over-the-counter shelves. Now there is help for people who want to quick using alcohol: Naltrexone. This blog is an introduction to the study of Naltrexone on myself.

The 50mg tablet is taken orally once a day. Treatment is popularly administered for 90 days. I have just completed the first 30 days and I testify that Naltrexone helps me physically and mentally quit craving alcohol.

I experience very few side effects. In the first week, I was very aware of taking the pill, and looked for physical reactions. During that week I felt a little dizzy and lacked some energy, but coffee took care of that easily. About a week later, my body adjusted and the caffeine was not necessary. Today, I may still lack energy very few times; but never experience nausea, headaches or anything else. I function fine: great appetite, focus at work, energy for the gym, good attitude with people.

The prescription costs about $60 for a 30-day supply.I pick mine up at the local Walmart - it is accessible and safe. Like any other medication, it comes with a label that provides a complete description. If I have any questions, my doctor will help. He already saw me for our first follow-up appointment after one month and we agreed to a final follow-up appointment toward the end of three months.

Naltrexone is a pure opiod receptor antagonist.It blocks the effects of intravaneously administered opiods.The information provided with the prescription, manufactured by BARR LABORATORIES, INC. in Pomona, NY for TEVA PHARMACEUTICALS USA in Sellersville, PA states that "the mechanism of action of naltrexone in alcoholism is not understood." However, it also states that in clinical tests it has shown to reduce alcohol consumption.

I am not a clinical study. I heard of this pill, and a couple of others, through a family friend. I chose to try it because I was curious about it the same way a smoker may be curious about the nicotine patch or gum to physically help quitting.My doctor in Los Angeles, CA, briefly described the pill and treatment. His name is Dr. Hector Castillo, and his office is in Huntington Park.He mentioned that if I drank heavily while on this medication, I would suffer a terrible hangover.

I did not drink for the first couple of weeks. But when I finally did, I automatically understood what neltrexone does. It blocks the effects of alcohol. I can't get drunk right away. I can taste the alcohol and feel it's strength, in the sense that I can feel the "heat" of a shot of whiskey or tequila. But I cannot feel it go to my head. Instead, I feel a pressure, like a sinus pressure. It really feels llike something blocks it from my brain.

Physically, this helps me because it doesn't feel good right away - and that is one of the most appealing traits of alcohol. Mentally, I am given more reaction time to consider that I don't really want to drink anymore. And that's why I don't crave it much at all right now. I don't want to waste my time with alcohol to help me relax or enjoy myself more, because I know that my body won't react right away by relaxing or physically feeling better. I'm going to get a headache instead. I don't depend on it to alter my mood or change how my body feels.

I don't think alcohol is bad. I am glad to taste something special. But ordinary booze for a habit afterwork, at dinner,or to celebrate wasn't special to me anymore. It was something I thought I should outgrow, and not depend on like candy for a kid as a reward for myself. Neltrexone will help if you are serious about not consumong alcohol anymore. The longer I take it, the more I use my time and money for other things, and pay less attention to cravings for an ordinary old drink.